I think every non-sociopath’s first instinct when seeing the title card of the video above—which lives up to its billing, as this is indeed a four-minute clip of a man equipped with a waterproof Glock who uses it to “fish” for lionfish—is one of dread. Oh no, you worry, accurately. Am I really about to watch someone brain scores of defenseless little fish with a goddamn handgun???
If you’re being honest, though, you can feel something else deep down there under all the guilt and disgust. Damn, you think, again accurately. It miiiight actually be kinda dope to pop a few off in some fish with a real-deal water gun.
Thankfully, the video makers provide some critical context that should allay your concerns about watching an extended fishy snuff film and allow you to watch the rest of the video with the same giddiness and slight pangs of jealousy as you would a Call of Duty highlight compilation. The context, here, is that lionfish are undeniable, unrepentant shitheads:
You see, the fisherman here is a hero, the fish themselves are villains, the body count he racks up proof of his awesome dedication to the environmentalist cause, and the lifeless corpses he flips into the camera’s lens a triumphant celebration that those waters now have one less evil lionfish to befoul our beautiful reefs.
Okay, maybe these kinds of slo-mo replays of a killing blow are a bit unnecessary ...
... but let’s not forget who the bad guys are here. (Reminder: it’s the fish.)
Let this video do for marine biology what Indiana Jones did for archeology.