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As I type this, a man who called Mexicans rapists, mocked a reporter’s physical disability, bragged about committing sexual assault, and wants to ban an entire religious group from entering the country is leading Hillary Clinton by 150 electoral votes to 109. I feel physically ill.

For so long during the campaign, Trump was disgusting, crude, and a horrifying manifestation of white America‚Äôs worst tendencies‚ÄĒbut before tonight, it never actually felt real. We had fun laughing at the missteps of an oaf. His incompetence felt silly.

But now, we have to reckon with the number of Americans who looked at a racist, self-obsessed, anti-semitic con man-turned-demagogue and thought to themselves, yes, that’s who I want to lead my country.

I don’t know what terrifies me more: having Donald Trump as president or living in a country that would elect him.