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Big news from the New Yorker: The venerated magazine is shaking things up by introducing a new “short-form news product” where writers go online to “respond to the news.” Newyorker.com editor Michael Luo explains:

Hmm, you might say; using the internet machine to write quick hits on breaking news in a kind of “web log” seems familiar. But don’t be dense. This new model isn’t just blogging. For one, there are no images. Get it?

Look, this fruit is hanging so low I probably should’ve just stepped right over it. But I’m hungover and grumpy and Lyft invented a bus and some tech bros invented a vending machine, and remember when that juice place literally invented fancy Capri Sun pouches? Everything is so stupid.