You may have heard recently about Indiana's new "religious freedom" law that allows businesspeople to refuse service toward gay folks. Well, as reported by ABC57 news, the good people at Memories Pizza are taking full advantage of that new law, proudly declaring that gays are not encouraged to eat their terrible, terrible pizza. Owner Crystal O'Connor:
If a gay couple came in and wanted us to provide pizzas for their wedding, we would have to say no.
I think this woman severely underestimates the good taste of gay couples. No gay couple would be caught dead ordering this shitass pizza for a wedding.
Anyway, Memories considers itself a Christian establishment, with a sign on display that says, "Every day before we open the store, we gather and pray together. If there is something you would like us to pray for, just write it down and drop it in the box and we will pray for you also." Personally, when I go out for pizza, I pray no cockroaches are hanging out in the walk-in. No word on if pepperoni is also banned from Memories Pizza because, I mean, pepperoni looks kinda dick-shaped.
Anyway, I tried to find a picture of this fabled pizza to get an idea of what gay customers might be missing out on, but all I could find were these Google Plus reviews ...
Damn, that garlic bread DOES sound good.
I also found a still of this sad mason jar filled with … water? Why is it so cloudy?
Plus this display for shakes and malts that was clearly made by a six-year-old, who is presumably not gay ...
I also found the restaurant's Yelp page, which has already been besieged with one-star reviews and bear photos ...
I dare say Memories Pizza will regret publicly siding with this new law. You take away pizza from BIG GAY, you reap the whirlwind, Crystal. You'll be sorry you weren't sorry.