Sometimes I feel bad for Jimmy Fallon. A key component of his success as a late night host is his and his writing staff’s ability to produce segments that are grist for the viral content mill. These segments usually take the form of a game or competition between Fallon and one or more of his guests, and the ideal outcome of one of these games is for it to produce headlines like Watch “Stranger Things”’ Millie Bobby Brown (aka Eleven) Rap Nicki Minaj’s “Monster” Verse.
The reason I feel bad for Fallon and his staff is that coming up with new wacky games night in and night out must get exhausting. You don’t have to squint too hard to see the fatigue setting in. The concept of the game Fallon played with the kids from Stranger Things was “Jimmy reads a fun fact about someone sitting at the table and then everyone shoots silly string at who they believe the personal fact belongs to.” He recently played “musical beers” with Aaron Paul, Tig Notaro, and Florida Georgia Line (sure, why not?), a game that was literally just musical chairs but with beers instead of chairs. There is a recurring bit in which Fallon and a guest just, like, throw water at each other.
My sympathy for Fallon is so sincere that I have come up with a few ideas for future segments, which he may use free of charge:
- Jimmy and the cast of Mr. Robot call Apple support to ask how they go about fixing an iPhone with a shattered screen. The person who ends up on hold the longest must choose which three teeth they would like to keep.
- Jimmy, Alison Brie, and Kazuo Ishiguro do pushups until one of them passes out or barfs.
- Jimmy, three American Ninja Warrior contestants, and a balloon filled with moths go to a hot yoga studio and compete against each other in a Greco-Roman wresting tournament.
- Jimmy and the cast of London Spy (except for Jim Broadbent, obviously) play Spin The Bottle. Whoever the bottle points to has to gnaw a finger off the hand of the person sitting to their right.
- Jimmy, Sturgill Simpson, and the girl in the bee costume from that one Blind Melon video smooch your mom.
- Jimmy and Rihanna take turns hocking loogies on each other.
- Jimmy, a sad frog, and Liam Hemsworth play, uhh, Truth or Dare?
I would embed a video of any of these bits on this website.