Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Please Understand That I Would Kill, And Surely Die, For This Carnivorous Howling Mouse

I understand that you come to Deadspin to see the “fresh content” of the day. What’s going on out there in the wide world of sports and beyond? Well you can always come on down to Deadspin to find out, of course! I am sorry to say that this particular post will offer no such insight into what’s currently “hot” on the ‘net. All you will find here is a year-old YouTube video and a declaration:

Look upon the Grasshopper Mouse, to whom I have now dedicated my life. I would follow this mouse to hell, and you dare to ask me why? The answer should be obvious, even to a fool: The mouse scours the land under the desert moon, engaging in mortal combat with beasts such as poisonous scorpions and centipedes, who once defeated become the mouse’s sustenance. When the hunt is over, the mouse, its teeth still awash in the blood of its prey, throws its head back and howls at the moon. Awoooo! it yelps, challenging gods and beasts alike. Awoooo!

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I will go to the desert, and I will howl with this mouse. I will be reborn.

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