Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Nightmare Octopus Jumps Out Of Water, Chases Crab On Land, Bodies It

This here video of an octopus exploding out of the shallows, moonwalking on land, grabbing a crab, and pulling it back underwater was shot in Australia just days ago, which means that there's a good chance this very octopus and others like it are still alive, which means that you and I and all of our loved ones are in danger.


The whole staff of Deadspin was terrified when first gazing upon this octopus walking across the ground like an eight-legged, coked-up, murderous person, but soon, then more skeptical of us paused, asking if an octopus could really kill and eat a crab, or if this was a case of fake thuggery. As it happens, octopi have beaks—not unlike one you would find on a bird—that they use to puncture holes in the shells of, say, crabs, or mollusks, or babies, or whatever else they want to eat at the time. They then inject venom into their prey, causing paralysis. And then they eat their prey alive by sucking out their innards.

Imagine what homie would do to your Achilles.