Our pals over at automated-subdomain-generator-bot Gawker celebrated the incomparable Twitter brilliance of CNN's Nancy Grace awhile back, but last night's amazing #PervHouse tweet is as good a time as any to remind you: Nancy Grace is still out here in these streets (like #PervHouse guy!), tweeting circles around the rest of us.
Here is a sampling of some recent Nancy Grace tweets that, I mean, shit, man, these are just good-ass tweets.
Personally, my favorites are the ones with the question-mark after the hashtag. Will you accept #MethMom? Sure! #BabySnatcher? Nah, not my style, thanks. #RevengeKill? Whoa, take it easy there, Nance. We're all friends here.
Contrast Nancy Grace's tweets with this random sampling of what the rest of Twitter is up to.
Jeez. Get it together, the rest of Twitter.
Judging by the replies to Nancy Grace's tweets, many people find them "ghoulish," "trivializing," "stupid," and "what the hell is wrong with you." These people are correct, except when they are using those terms pejoratively. Nancy Grace's tweets do indeed churn real, genuinely awful events—babies dying! people poisoning each other! moms mething!—into a kind of bizarre, lurid, blackly comic performance art that could scarcely be more callous or indifferent toward its subjects if replaced by video of Nancy Grace literally relieving herself on their beds. On the other hand, they're reeeally funny.
Nancy Grace's Twitter feed describes a hellish, nightmare version of the world, full of #MethMoms serving #ToxicTea in their #PervHouses—but somehow, the breathless exclamations, the tone that swerves wildly from indignant outrage ( I demand justice for #BucketSkull!) to populist sass ("that's what I call a lettuce tomato sandwich," for my money the greatest laugh-line in Twitter history), and the ludicrous hashtags, oh man the hashtags ... I dunno, somehow, the world of the Nancy Grace Twitter feed seems perversely charming and harmless. Like a derelict haunted house ride where the cutout particleboard ghosts are mounted on spring-loaded broom handles, and the sound effects are provided by a teen in the corner playing a "Spooky Halloween Sounds" tape in an ancient boombox: It's only scary if you agree to let it be, and that's like 99 percent of the fun.
Twitter claims it has roughly 271 million users. Only 422,000 of them follow Nancy Grace. Get with it, #HareBrains.