Liveblogging The Vice-Presidential Debate Between Mike And Uh … Steve?

Photo illustration: Sam Woolley, original photos via AP.

Tonight at 9 p.m., two men who are probably never going to be president will spend 90 minutes speaking to each other in firm yet respectful tones. I haven’t been able to sleep in weeks.

But first, let’s meet tonight’s spark plugs.

Did you know that, if given the option to dine with anyone, GOP pick Mitch Pence would choose Jesus and C.S. Lewis, in that order? He also once wrote an op-ed explaining that, in fact, smoking does not kill—a devastating blow from which Big Science has yet to recover. Here’s a picture of him surrounded by nuns as he signs a bill that makes it legal to discriminate against gay people. Good luck to this potential future leader of the free world.

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On the Dems’ side, we have Tad Kaine, a former legal ethics professor who allegedly “learned everyone’s name by the second class and also assigned way too much reading.” He once said that he believed cheating politicians should resign—including Bill Clinton. Here’s a video of him playing the harmonica, which he carries with him at all times. Good luck to him.

If this just gets inexpressibly boring we’ll probably just start talking about the American League wild-card game, but here’s to hoping someone loses their shit on stage.

Ashley Feinberg

Ashley Feinberg is a senior reporter for the Special Projects Desk, which produces investigative work across all of Gizmodo Media Group's web sites.

i hope both of those horse’s asses get hit by meteors on their way to wherever tonight

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Damn, Kaine’s bigger than Pence. Who knew?

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is any word favored by assholes more than “Truly”?

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Also, Pence talking about how he tries to spend time on his knees every night.

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What is going on in Toronto?

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give Torontites credit: they’re extremely loud and passionate in support of the hilariously and perpetually mediocre pro sports teams of their generic third-rate city

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Here’s a beer can being thrown at Hyun Soo Kim in Toronto:

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They probably would be but it really is incredibly condescending as well as unconvincing.

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Dang, Adam Jones was like 45 minutes late on that fastball.

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I really hate the Democratic “I’m a person of strong faith, but not so much that I actually take it seriously or anything” pose.

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The debate has clearly lost me, Canadian hooliganism is much more interesting.

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Buck Showalter telling the ump “Can’t have that!” re: a trash Jays fan throwing a water bottle on the field exhibited more readiness for the presidency than these two jamokes have put together all night.

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Damn! Trash Blue Jays fan tosses a beer at an Orioles player.

Edit: water bottle I guess.

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Pareene I feel like I’m in a fucking time warp. Pence really is a 2005-era Republican, and Kaine was deemed too milquetoast and behind the times to deliver scared-Democrat orthodoxy ca. 2008 in 2008, when he was strongly considered as a VP choice.

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Nate what does this even mean

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Pence’s furrowed brow/fake concerned voice combo makes my butt water.

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I am proud of my small blocked-by list. Curt Schilling, Jason McIntyre, Mike Silver, Darren Rovell, and now NYTFridge. I am a polite Twitter user!

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Barry, Lorraine just blocked me too, for this good tweet:

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I will vote for whichever candidate pledges to drone NYTFridge

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The NYT Fridge is on a roll tonight.

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Hell yeah

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Yeah Marchman, that contradicts all that cyber nonsense.

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