The Deadspin staff spent about half an hour analyzing this street fight, which DNAinfo has generously gifted to the world. The fight happened at 6:50 a.m. today on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, and it has a stunning outcome.

DNAinfo says the fight began because Garbage Can Guy walked across the street while talking on his phone and wasn’t paying attention, which enraged Machete Guy, who was driving by in his car. The video starts in medias res, but I’ve got questions:

  • Who is this energetic for a street fight at 6:50 a.m.?
  • Why does Machete Guy have a machete?
  • Why is Machete Guy already bleeding?
  • Why does Machete Guy throw away his machete?
  • Why is Machete Guy afraid of a garbage can?
  • How in the world did Machete Guy lose to Garbage Can Guy?

Update: As some readers have pointed out, it looks like the machete broke when Machete Guy swung it. Guess that answers that question. The lesson here? Don’t bring a cheap machete to a garbage can fight.

[DNAinfo]