Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Fictional Lasers, Ranked

Illustration for article titled Fictional Lasers, Ranked

So the Navy has a laser cannon now. It's cool, I guess, except that it does not shoot any beams of light or make a "pew pew" noise or do any of the cool shit that a laser is supposed to do, really. Fictional lasers are much better. This is a ranking of fictional lasers.

  1. Lightsaber
  2. Ghostbusters proton pack laser
  3. Death Star laser
  4. X-Wing laser
  5. Predator shoulder-cannon laser
  6. Independence Day alien mothership laser
  7. Enterprise phaser cannon
  8. TIE Fighter laser
  9. Iron Man's gauntlet laser
  10. Millenium Falcon quad laser
  11. Goldfinger crotch laser
  12. DL-44 heavy-blaster-pistol laser
  13. Congo diamond laser
  14. Bowcaster laser
  15. E-11 blaster-rifle laser
  16. Klingon disruptor laser
  17. Ma'Tok staff laser
  18. Mars Attacks! laser
  19. Moonraker laser
  20. Chitauri Scepter laser
  21. Independence Day alien-fighter-craft laser
  22. Terminator T-800 laser rifle
  23. War of the Worlds tripod laser
  24. Real Genius laser
  25. Superman's eye laser
  26. Cyclops's eye laser
  27. Tron lasers
  28. James Bond's watch laser
  29. Star Trek phaser
  30. Being hit by a car
  31. Star Trek: The Next Generation phaser