Photo Credit: George Frey/Getty

Twitter is full of idiots. Trolls, PC police, assholes, liberals—each one of them more infuriating than the last. And who, I ask, would be brave enough to tell these slobbering social justice warriors just how bad they really are if not for the wealthy and powerful children of celebrities? No one. This is Donald Trump Jr.’s burden.

As a celebrity scion, Don Jr. is often the target of what many people might refer to as a “rude tweet.” These people might recommend that Don Jr. avoid using his large platform to personally attack strangers online, or just come up with better things to do with his time than scrap with them, like finding a nice body of water in which to throw his phone. But they have no idea what it’s like.

So Donald Trump Jr., a man with nearly 670,000 followers, issues insults to eggs on Twitter. In all, his work amounts to a manual on how to deal raw owns to nonentities online, making sure that no slight can be issued free from fear of vengeance. We’re sure his father could not be more proud.

On Follower Counts

On Grammar

On Idiots

On Avatars

Will Don Jr. become the first First Son to own an egg from the White House? We’ll find out soon enough.