I don't watch Empire. But come on. Look at this:

And then look at this:


Come on.

Leslie's point, I guess, is that the people on the show are unique individuals with motivations and arcs and characterization that goes beyond superficial things like jobs or physical appearances. "Call me when Teyana Taylor is a secret lesbian," Leslie writes. That would be like if I wrote into my show a German dictator with a mustache and named him Adolf Bitler, only he turned out to be gay, so I told you, "He has nothing to do with Hitler, because Hitler married a lady."


The fake Shumpert's girlfriend's name is "Tiana." Come on.

The show should be renamed Shumpire.