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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Awwww Shit, Game Of Thrones Is Back

Illustration for article titled Awwww Shit, iGame Of Thrones /iIs Back

Hello darkness, my old friend

I’ve come to hate-watch you again

To brave the pious fanboy rages

To shout, “GRRM has no pages”

To see how much misery they can fit on one TV screen

No gods can glean

Whence comes The Winds of Winter

We still have to put up with Dorne

One more wan oath Brienne hath sworn

Jon Snow is dead repeated several times

Meereen still overrun with aggro mimes

And several dudes got stabbed

One in the face, and as his soul ascends

Thusly ends

His watch for Winds of Winter

Real dope to hear Dothraki though

They’re comic relief on a show

Where It’s a bloody woman’s funny

Where She was nothing like me’s sunny

And Fuck everyone who isn’t us reads as deep philosophy

Might those words be

In (the notably nonexistent) Winds of Winter

Kill all the men left in this mess

Spare Dinklage and Davos I guess

Real Widows of Slain Khals should be a hoot

Chuck the Iron Islands in a garbage chute

Meanwhile the Red Woman’s stuck in an X-rated Tool video

Cool FX, bro

So blow the Winds of Winter

An Aside

Did you know Disturbed covers this song?

The YouTube comment threads are long

It’s known to induce open weeping

And keep fussy babies sleeping

For those with more piercings than good sense, by all means feel free

To do foul karaoke

As you await The Winds of Winter


Another naked chick I saw

10,000 boners, maybe more

Sprung by snarky tweeters fapping

(Mocked by smug jerkoffs recapping)

’Cause we all need this show, loved or loathed

As ad revenue shrinks

Please use referral links

To preorder Winds of Winter


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