Photo credit: AP

I know you are long since numb to it, and I know every day is worse than the last, but I’d like you to remember just how fucking embarrassing yesterday, October 3, 2017, was for humanity. Behold our gnome-handed buffoon of a president, wearing his finest emergency golf windbreaker, jump-shooting paper towels with a form that would make Bill Cartwright shake his head. Listen to this soulless gravy blob brag about invisible planes and openly lie to an Air Force rep about not knowing he was an Air Force rep.


Watch as he gathers a bunch of poor subordinates around him in Puerto Rico—where people have been reduced to eating dog food in the wake of total devastation—and crack jokes about how much it’ll cost to not let everyone die and compliment himself on the fucking body count. And to think, all of this happened AFTER he bragged about the “miracle” of just 59 people dying in the Las Vegas massacre. If you’re not embarrassed, then I’m embarrassed for you. You deserve to be shamed to the fucking grave for being cool with this.

This was just one horrible day in a string of many, I realize. Just today, Trump’s shithead kids were discovered to have (seemingly) bribed their way out of fraud charges. It all bleeds together at this point. But just take a moment to commemorate yesterday—call it Clueless Sack Of Shit Day—as a microcosm of the whole toilet fire. People are suffering and miserable and this sheltered tit can only think to chuck paper towels, like it’s the worst children’s birthday party in history.

What a total fucking disgrace.