Photo credit: Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff flickr

Behold idiot son-in-law Jared Kushner—the man now in charge of brokering Middle East peace, Uberizing the federal government, reforming the entire criminal justice system, and keeping Donald Trump’s hands off his wife. This perfect still frame from a David O. Russell film has also been put in charge of beating ISIS. Yes, ISIS!

And what better way to terrify the caliphate than by sauntering around in a bulletproof vest that’s been personalized like a pair of Underoos, and then wearing it OVER a goddamn blazer? It’s a sharp look, one that says, “I’d like to make a war, but I’d also like a mint julep.” Imagine how long Scent of a Woman here stared at himself in the mirror with his vest and Malibu cop sunglasses on. I bet a Steve Vai guitar solo played in his head the whole time. Why, I’d just be quaking in my sandals if I were the Islamic State. This Harvard Freshman Orientation Leader will wipe them out in the morning and still have time to attend your nephew’s rehearsal dinner later that afternoon.


What a piece of shit.