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Sellout: Getty

Turns out that Robby Mook was the perfect campaign manager for Hillary Clinton after all. He’s just like his boss: can’t win an election, but can get rich giving revolting speeches afterwards.

Buzzfeed reports that Mook has, thanks be to god, landed on his feet after failing to defeat a racist clown who may well devastate countless lives before his term is done. Mook will be teaming up with Corey Lewandowski, Trump’s (failed) campaign manager, to “offer a future-focused look at why Trump won” in front of any audience willing to pay enough for their presence. How fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Lewandowski went and started a lobbying firm immediately after leaving a campaign predicated on “Draining the Swamp,” so we all knew he was a vile opportunist (and also he, you know, worked to get Donald Trump elected president of the United States). But Mook really stepped up to the plate here to prove that blowing the future of a nation is all fun and games as long as you can get paid handsomely to yak with your ostensible ideological enemies in front of the Morgan Stanley annual executive meeting. All of the Syrian refugees who can no longer get into our country can rest easy knowing that Robby Mook will make enough money to build himself a fortified compound on a hill safely away from our looming American Carnage. Can’t wait to see this guy run Chelsea Clinton’s Senate campaign one day—it’s a dream team that we can’t get enough of!

Weep when you look in the mirror, you dog.

UPDATE: Buzzfeed reports that the speaking agency has deleted the Mook/ Lewandowski tag team listing, saying “There has been great interest in both Corey and Robby individually, but want to be clear that they have not teamed up.” Ha.

ah, So u persecute Jared Fogle just because he has different beliefs? Do Tell. (girls get mad at me) Sorry. Im sorry. Im trying to remove it

— wint (@dril) November 1, 2015

Senior Writer.

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