Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Some scientist or whatever decided he wanted to hang an electrified deer carcass in the woods in order to see what would happen when a bear tried to eat the deer. Why did he do this? I don't know, man. Because he's a dickhead. But the good news is that this experiment was quickly and thoroughly torn to shit by a smart and cool bear.

Our hero bear, perhaps sensing that something was amiss, approaches the carcass cautiously at first. He touches it with its snout, and immediately receives a shock of electricity that sends him running. A normal and dumb bear would have probably been like, "Fuck this shit, I'm out," but this, I'll remind you, is a smart and good bear.


He returns to prod at the carcass again, receiving his second shock. But then the bear comes back a third time, and disconnects the car battery from Mr. Dickhead Scientist's torture rig. The bear is encouraged, but continues to proceed with caution:

False alarm! The deer carcass is no longer electrified, and the bear knows it. Now is the time to strike:


Fuck you and your bear-zapping roadkill, motherfucker. This bear is eatin'.

h/t Michael


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