A few months ago, the Deadspin staff got into one of our dumber and more protracted debates (a true feat) about whether the ocean or space was scarier. Like every other drawn-out yelling match, it lasted for a long time and went nowhere, though this one surfaced again yesterday. Both sides refused to budge from their…
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here.
I never threaten to turn the car around. That’s a cliché and an empty threat, but more important it offends my sensibilities as a father. I will never turn the car around and sacrifice the time I’ve made. Ever. We could accidentally leave grandma’s heart meds back at the house and I’m still not going back. FUCK IT…
A good cover letter apparently should open with an anecdote that displays grit and character and perseverance; it should not just come right out and beg for it. Before I had the slightest idea about any of this, I’d lead with a story about interviewing actor and Deadspin commenter Jon Hamm as a mostly untrained…
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here.
A man and a woman visited the King Street Reddi Mart in Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada on Monday afternoon, and the convenience store owner eventually called the police on suspicion that the man had been using a stolen credit card. By the time the couple left the store, they had lost a shirt and a shoe, gained a deep…
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours.
The holidays are about consuming copious amounts of food and finding things to do with your family that allow you to be with them while also ignoring them. My family’s method of choice is watching movies. And so this past Christmas, we gathered round to watch a pair of holiday classics—Michael Clayton and uh Dunkirk—…
Today we read the following story of how the Jason Bateman vehicle Game Night came to pass.
There are laws in war.
Have you seen Incredibles 2? If you liked 2004's The Incredibles, about a family of superheroes in a sort of midcentury-modern-flavored alternate universe America, you’ll likely enjoy its sequel very much. As you might expect from any big-budget sequel it’s a little less fresh than the original and bloated in ways…
Last week, our colleagues at The A.V. Club posted a fun blog query: What are the things you’ve only done because you saw them in pop culture? The cool writers there listed cool things like smoking, revving a Mustang, and clearing a desk in anger. I immediately knew my answer: ordering two beers at the same time like…
And now, the latest news from the Denver metro area: a portable toilet went to go meet the Sky Gods. It paid tribute to its former home on Earth by spraying a fine mist of odious liquid into the windy summer air.
My favorite genre of fiction, in books and stories and movies and probably even television shows, is horror. I love horror. I watch horror movies all the time. I stay up late after my wife goes to bed so that I can watch more horror movies, even though it means that I sleep terribly. My worry with Hereditary was that…
Levi Tillemann is a Democrat running for Congress in Colorado’s sixth congressional district, and he wants you to know he is a leader who will work to “break through the partisan gridlock” and honestly I missed most of the rest of it because holy shit the guy just unloads a fucking quart of pepper spray into his own…
There is an inexhaustible stock of incredible moments of connection, understanding, and joy in the archives of Anthony Bourdain’s show—A Cook’s Tour, No Reservations, The Layover, and Parts Unknown are really just four iterations of the same show—that the world inevitably feels like a brighter, more colorful place for…
As I’d imagine many or, who knows, maybe even most of those who admired him did, I once had the strange experience of realizing that Anthony Bourdain seemed to know a place I lived better than I did. In 2009, his No Reservations program went to Chicago, and if he didn’t get the entire city, which of course no one…
Most friendships have a sort of intrinsic half-life. Each passing year tends to draw you further from the people you care about or at least reduce the number of people you stay in touch with, but this is usually a good thing. I’d say the best number of friends is somewhere around MySpace’s platonic ideal of a top…
Somebody gave me a copy of Kitchen Confidential shortly after I graduated from college; I wish I remembered who. I mostly subsisted on Trader Joe’s frozen meals back then, and I’m almost certain I had never heard of Anthony Bourdain.
Do the best you can with what you have—it’s an old idiom, and one that is particularly useful when it comes to explaining the above image. It is also useful to note the pathetic foot at lower left. Here is how it came to pass.
