On Tuesday, conservative rag The Federalist—a website perhaps best known for its endorsement of statutory rape and its former use of a “Black Crime” tag—published an opinion blog by a gay guy named Chad Felix Greene titled “The Stigma Against My Conservative Politics Is Worse Than The Stigma Of Being Gay.”

Probably nothing anyone does at this point stands more than a remote chance of averting any but the very most extreme, apocalyptic tolls humanity’s trashing of the planet could inflict on the global ecosystem and human society within the next few decades. The time when people could have addressed this already-ongoing…

I purchased my last iPhone in the summer of 2016 and I’m still using it. But this blog is not a boast about how I am resisting consumerism and striking a blow against Apple’s dedication to planned obsolescence. I’m not bragging about how I haven’t (yet) dropped my phone in the toilet. The purchase date of my iPhone is…

Before we begin: Yes, those appear to be two actual human workers on a cherry picker getting clocked by this falling clock face at Purdue University, but according to the clock contractors, nobody was injured. So please enjoy this mini-disaster with the sound cranked loud and your conscience clear:

What you’re looking at here is a cow named Knickers, a Holstein Friesian that lives on a farm in Western Australia with a bunch of other regulation-size cows that honestly look laughably small—like a child’s toys, like a dull child’s stupid playthings—in comparison. This is because Knickers, per Perth Now, is nearly…

1. Your soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled-up knots.

It never takes much. Tubbs started when some power lines blew over. All it took for Carr to roar to life was a flat tire. Thomas was born of a utility malfunction. Camp was probably the same. Their beginnings almost don’t matter, since the story of each of those historic wildfires, and all the fires raging right now,…

This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here.

President Donald Trump often stands near a helicopter on the White House’s South Lawn while reporters shout questions at him. Certain elements of this ritual are the same every time. The wheedling honk of Trump’s voice and the uneasy tilt of his standing-on-a-hoverboard-for-the-first-time posture are constants, as is…

An unavoidable consequence of spending any meaningful amount of time online is being exposed to viral food content. Some of that stuff looks good and appetizing and much of it is trollish and stupid and decadent in ways that suggest a culture in serious trouble. But there is one particular aspect to this genre that I…

I got the first email at 10:54 a.m. on a Friday.

Donald Trump is horrible and disgusting, and the menagerie of melting, gelatinous creatures surrounding him are also horrible and disgusting, but they’re not really new. The behavior they’ve exhibited over the last three years came into focus, in Facebook and before long silences at family dinners, during the years…

The horses had all the hay they needed, the random bucket of water had been emptied into the wash trough, the cook had his sacks of grain or flour or whatever, and there were no more logs to split. The menial morning chores were done. And I thought, Shit, I guess now I gotta go have a thrilling Old West adventure. I…

Recently my wife told me I would enjoy meeting a friend of hers, who she described as “a big Halloween person.” When I asked what made this friend a big Halloween person, she told me this friend made her own superhero Halloween costume from scratch this year. And I, a punctilious dickweed, skipped right past being…

This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here.

On Leap Day several years ago, Bold, the hardcore band, played the East Village coke den Lit Lounge’s packed basement in front of a hundred or two hundred people. The band, well into their middle age, hadn’t released a record since 1989, and are best known for punk songs they wrote as teenagers. Singer Matt Warnke…

Presumably this Heidi Cruz profile, by Elaina Plott at The Atlantic, was written in an effort to provide some sort of human element to Ted Cruz’s re-election campaign, as he is incapable of doing that himself. Instead, it came off as a dire warning of what will happen to a person’s life if they fuck and fall in love…

Andy Knox, a student at Da Vinci Charter Academy in California, told KRCA-TV how he came across the dead grandpa cookies. “Two weeks ago, I was just about to go into my sixth-period class, environmental science, and a girl who was also in the class stopped me and asked me if I wanted a cookie. And I knew her, so I…

There are no circumstances under which you should feel bad for Chris Christie, but here’s the one that seems closest. Heading into the primary campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination, Christie had a brand that worked for him. He wasn’t a great or even terribly good governor of New Jersey—he was…