When you’re a kid, it’s perfectly fine to partake in an array of bizarre or grotesque behaviors. Whether you’ve decided to chop your own hair off, get married to a stuffed animal, or just to scribble nonsense all over the walls, you are set—this is the only time in your life when adults might even mistake those…
So much of your life is impossible to give order to. A mango is not one of those things. It may seem like one, big gooey lump that it is, but it is not. It can be given perfect geometric clarity with just a few tactical blade strokes. I can’t recommend solving many of your other problems this way, but it does work for…
(NOTE: Beer and wine not included.)
We’re just over a week out from Avengers: Infinity War, and folks, I’m a wreck.
Katy Gaines made her world debut on a billboard ad for a health food store in Portugal. Shortly afterwards, she popped up hawking cell phone data on the side of a bus in Oslo. Even in Orange County, where Gaines grew up, a friend recognized her on the pamphlet for a teeth whitening treatment. She’s been everywhere.…
My very stupidest design feature is that I am always, at all times, hungry. This links neatly to my second-stupidest attribute, which is that I’m a sucker for smoothies, the most flagrantly upcharged non-artisan foodstuffs currently available for purchase.
Comedian T.J. Miller—known for his work on HBO’s Silicon Valley (where he was reportedly pushed out for being a dick and repeatedly showing up to work drunk), or that time he got real sexist at a tech awards show, or that he allegedly slapped an Uber driver, or that time he was accused of sexually assaulting and…
Reviews have knocked Sea of Thieves, the big new multiplayer pirate video game for Windows and Xbox, for its lack of content, for repetitive quest structure, and for generally feeling sort of hollow and unfinished. My colleague Heather Alexandra over at Kotaku wrote that playing it “feels a bit like working in a…
Does it qualify as a Milkshake Duck if they knew the duck was racist to begin with? What the hell has even happened here?
President Donald Trump’s workday on Thursday included two actual things. That day officially began at 11 a.m., per his public schedule, when Trump received his daily intelligence briefing. There’s no telling how long this takes, as Trump famously likes his briefings short and colorful and chart-based; there is no…
In the four months since a mysterious group of rich people took over the L.A. Weekly, news outlets across the country have continued to experience brutal cuts to newsroom staffs and other harsh austerity measures. More than 50 journalists from the East Bay Times and the San Jose Mercury News were laid off or took…
Earlier this month, CNN’s Brian Stelter broke the news that Sinclair Broadcast Group, owner or operator of nearly 200 television stations in the U.S., would be forcing its news anchors to record a promo about “the troubling trend of irresponsible, one sided news stories plaguing our country.” The script, which parrots…
Imagine: you’re in a crowded mid-size venue, 300 strangers surrounding you. Just an hour ago, this space was vacant; now you’re practically cuddling with some drunk dudes you’re praying won’t spill beer on your shirt. They don’t smell great. It’s Friday night and you’ve headed straight from work to happy hour to here,…
Here are just a few, tiny things that happened in a dark, bizarre, depressing Year of our Lord 2018:
It’s almost Passover again, the Jewish holiday that is notionally about freedom and liberation but, as practiced, is more about cleaning maniacally, covering every surface in your home with tinfoil so it resembles the interior of a spaceship from a 1960’s television show, and refraining eating bread. Some people claim…
Bars—except those that only take cash, and more power to those—would all be improved by doing two things that are already common in some parts of the country. It appears that nearly all bars in the South do these two things, for instance, while anecdotal (though intensive) reporting suggests that no bar in the…
There are a lot of TV shows out there. Lots of shows. Good shows. “The Golden Age of Television,” they call it. “Peak TV!” they cry, which is both a wary quantitative assessment of how much there is and a qualitative one. I can’t disagree with any of it.
Black Panther is the biggest hit of 2018 and stands poised to become one of the five highest grossing movies in the history of this continent. It’s a rare movie that serves as both an artistic and financial success and has absolutely destroyed any preconceived boardroom notions about a movie with a nearly all-black…
Grandpas! They’re old! And cranky! And they eat lots of weird shit! Sometimes they just walk around in their tighty whities and don’t give a fuck! Yes, grandpas are truly the most precious of national resources, especially this one:
