Last Friday, the Supreme Court ruled to recognize same-sex marriages nationwide, much to the delight of a whole lot of people. Except of course, resident crank Justice Antonin Scalia, who wrote a dissent that, from most reasonable folks’ perspective, sounded like nonsense.

In the document, which has now been entered into the annals of history, Scalia uses colorful phrases you have maybe only heard from an old prospector: stuff like “jiggery-pokery” and “pure apple sauce.” “Let us not say things we can never take back ... or even understand,” Stewart responds. Those phrases came right out of the Old Man Dictionary, yes they did. “The crankiness of Scalia’s insults run inverse to his intellectual consistency,” Stewart added, dubbing our nation’s grumpiest grandpappy “the Human Dissentipede.” Watch the full clip below, and then go back to being happy the Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality.