Did you hear about this? Yeah, James Dolan wrote a song about Trayvon Martin. Take all the time you need to compose yourself.

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Look, I'll just go on without you, and you can just catch up whenever. Verily, there is a James Dolan as Soothsaying Bluesman profile in today's New York Times, pegged to the revelation that JD and the Straight Shot—who are basically the Allman Brothers Band, except if the Allman Brothers Band a) sucked, and b) signed Eddy Curry to a long-term deal—have booked themselves as the Eagles' opening act at an upcoming Madison Square Garden show. And this thing is just chock full of monster lines, from "He wore a fedora" to (rejoice!) "I am definitely spending less time with the Knicks" to "I'm an artist, and an artist doesn't worry about being politically correct when I write."


Which explains why he wrote a song about Trayvon Martin. I'm about to link to it. I want to be very clear about this: If you click this link, a song James Dolan wrote (and sung!) about Trayvon Martin will begin playing. You are opting in to this experience. It's called "Under That Hood" (get it?). That was the link, just now. You brought this upon yourself.

As a professional music critic, my official response to this is "[giant shrug emoticon]." The lyrics have been helpfully transcribed here; let the record show that it was an iced tea in Trayvon's pocket, not a "pop." James Dolan reaches for easy rhymes. He also wears a fedora.

This is the way I chose to wrap up my work week, and I am not happy about it.