Image via AP

We’ve been reminiscing about the funny pages, which provoked the single most blisteringly, violently hot take in the history of our blog site: Andy Capp is superior to Calvin and Hobbes, according to one staffer. Most of the staff ratings were sane and good, however, so we’ve averaged them for your reading pleasure. Only those comics that received five ratings made the rankings, meaning some quality strips like Krazy Kat didn’t make the cut. You’ll notice the ratings drop precipitously after the first crop of talent, which should match your intuition: most syndicated comics are boring.

1. Calvin and Hobbes (9.63)

2. The Far Side (9.27)

Advertisement

3. Peanuts (8.45)

4. The Boondocks (8.00)

5. Bloom County (7.22)

Advertisement

6. FoxTrot (6.00)

6. Doonesbury (6.00)

8. Pearls Before Swine (5.20)

Advertisement

9. Get Fuzzy (4.60)

10. Zits (4.20)

11. Andy Capp (4.00)

Advertisement

12. Blondie (3.90)

13. Dick Tracy (3.75)

14. Garfield (3.73)

Advertisement

Advertisement

15. Wizard of Id (3.57)

16. For Better or For Worse (3.56)

17. Dilbert (3.50)

Advertisement

18. Hägar the Horrible (3.36)

19. Beetle Bailey (3.30)

20. Non Sequitur (3.17)

Advertisement

Advertisement

21. Hi and Lois (3.00)

22. Prince Valiant (2.83)

23. B.C. (2.78)

Advertisement

24. Marmaduke (2.42)

25. The Lockhorns (2.40)

26. Heathcliff (2.12)

Advertisement

Advertisement

27. Cathy (2.00)

28. Mark Trail (1.83)

29. Family Circus (1.70)

Advertisement

30. Ziggy (1.42)

31. Getting hit by a bicycling paperboy

32. Mary Worth (1.14)