Image: Jim Cooke, Photos: Getty

Tonight at 9 p.m., a former Secretary of State will take on a bloviating game-show racist for the chance to be our president. And we’ll be liveblogging every goddamn minute of it.

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How long will it take before Lester Holt breaks down in tears? Is Hillary Clinton properly hydrated? And will Donald Trump finally pull his penis out on stage? Unfortunately, we’ll find out soon.

So please, join us. No one should have to go through this alone.