Try to see how long you can stare at this gigantic monster shrimp before becoming wildly uncomfortable and convinced that something totally just crawled across the back of your neck. What if I told you that its eyes are on stalks and can move independently from each other?


This foul beast was plucked from the depths by a fisherman named Steve Bargeron, who then sent pictures to the The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. The Commission posted the photos on its Facebook page, which is how we got here, with you sobbing under your desk. Here, have a look from another angle:

It appears that this monster is something called a mantis shrimp, and a cursory Google search reveals that mantis shrimps are badass. Here, watch one punch this shit out of a dumb crab and then stab a fish head right through the eye:

The ocean needs more chill.