Ed Sheeran, who I don’t get, is a man who talks too much and has a penchant for performing British-guitar-guy covers of popular rap songs. Why? Probably because of Ed Sheeran’s idiot Uncle Jim:

My Uncle Jim told my dad that Eminem was the next Bob Dylan—it’s pretty similar, it’s all just storytelling ...

“My Uncle Jim told my dad that Eminem was the next Bob Dylan.” Your Uncle Jim is a fucking imbecile! Because of Uncle Jim and that wrong and bad comparison, we now have Ed Sheeran to deal with.

... so my dad bought me The Marshall Mathers LP when I was 9 years old, not knowing what was on it. I learned every word of it, back to front, by the time I was 10. He raps very fast and melodically and percussively, and it helped me get rid of the stutter.

Goddammit. Yes, so rap music helped Ed get over an awful stutter. Kids are mean, and that must have been a terrible thing to go through. I see you there, Ed! (Also, yes, those quotes come from a speech he gave at the American Institute for Stuttering’s Freeing Voices Changing Lives Benefit Gala.) Nonetheless, Uncle Jim is trash, and he should go directly into the garbage can. At least we have him to hold responsible next time Ed deems it necessary to cover Fetty Wap’s “Trap Queen” or O.T. Genasis’s “Coco” or whatever viral rap song tickles his fancy. Mind your own beeswax much, Uncle Jim? [THR]

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