There's a guy in Chicago whose office phone somehow got listed on a Burger King website as the contact number for one of their local restaurants. As you might imagine, he gets a lot of calls from people looking to complain about service, apply for a job, or check on when their shift starts. But rather than complain, our friend made the best of the situation by pranking the crap out of everyone who calls him.

Above is a recording of one of those pranks, in which "Kevin" takes a call from a new Burger King hire who is just wondering when her first day is. "Kevin," who is a pretty damn good prankster for an amateur, lays out a series of nightmare scenarios that the poor woman will have to participate in, including "feathering and butchering" and "blood duty." He isn't completely heartless, though, and comes clean at the end of the call. They both have a good laugh, and everybody goes merrily on their way.

Below is another recording that the prankster sent to us, in which he plays the role of a salty Burger King manager blowing off a woman who calls to complain about shitty service:

Today, let's all be thankful for clerical errors and boring American jobs that allow workers like "Kevin" the chance to spend chunks of their days recording prank phone calls. Let's never be thankful for Burger King, though.