Here is a parable for our age. It involves a gun-wielding man shooting himself in the dick and apparently failing to notice.
The relevant part of an incident report we obtained from the Bibb County sheriff's office is reproduced below, but the gist is that the police were called to a hospital to investigate a self-inflicted gunshot wound. A 23-year-old gun enthusiast was, it turns, for some reason holstering a semi-automatic pistol while parked at a gas station, and managed to shoot himself. He drove to a friend's house (!), took off his pants, and "saw that he had shot himself in the penis and that the bullet exited out his buttocks," after which he was driven to the emergency room. Hospital police called the sheriff's office, resulting in this wonderful narrative.
The choice detail here is probably the spent round falling out of the guy's ass, but really it's all great.
Photo via Getty