Photo credit: Beth Harpaz/AP

A tourist who fancied a bath in one of Yellowstone National Park’s many geothermal pools slipped while attempting to gauge the temperature of the broth, fell into what turned out to be a deadly near-boiling acid bath, and dissolved. That is about the most metal thing I can imagine, but also he is extremely dead.

Anyway, a Washington Post story about this horrific death, which actually happened back in June, spurred a lively discussion among the Deadspin staff this morning, in which we speculated on exactly how the man died, and in how much pain, and Lindsey Adler confessed to us all that she wants to pitch Dave McKenna into a boiling acid bath because he is old. On the basis of that discussion, I have compiled the following list of ways to die that are more awful than dissolving in a scalding acid bath in the wilderness:

  • There are no ways to die that are more awful than dissolving in a scalding acid bath in the wilderness.

Please do not stray from the approved walkways when taking in the splendors of our national park system. Thank you.

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[WaPo]