Mischievous Lil' Pandas Refuse To Take Their Medicine

This is what happened when a zoo keeper in China—who has some pretty dope boots, by the way—tried to feed some medicine to two of the young pandas being held in the zoo. Dude's plan was to squirt the medicine into their mouths with a syringe; the pandas' plan was to fight this jabroni and get him the fuck out of their… » 10/31/14 5:45pm Yesterday 5:45pm

Here's The Deep-Thinking, Super-Alcoholic Beer For You

When last we Drunkspun, we were so angry at Stella Artois for sucking that we completely overlooked the fact that we don't even need the good Belgian beer around anymore. We were so busy praising all the good Belgian beer, lest we look ugly and ungracious by failing to properly appreciate their centuries of… » 10/31/14 2:31pm Yesterday 2:31pm

And Now, Your Worst Halloween Costume Stories

We were living in Chicago when I was six, and I chose to be a ghost for Halloween. I made the costume myself, because cutting two holes in a sheet seems like an easy task. Of course, I had to cut a third eyehole, because my first two were off-alignment. I also failed to consider the fact that a ghost costume has… » 10/31/14 11:36am Yesterday 11:36am

Rappers And Cats: A Complete History

Meow the Jewels is a real thing. What started as a joke—with Run the Jewels, the acerbically bombastic rap duo of EL-P and Killer Mike, offering to re-record their fantastic new sophomore album, Run the Jewels 2, with "nothing but cat sounds for music" if someone gave them $40,000—has bloomed into a Rap Internet… » 10/31/14 9:57am Yesterday 9:57am

Taylor Swift's 1989 Proves That "Pop" Doesn't Mean Anything Anymore

These are trying times to find oneself still riding for Taylor Swift, the Artist. As a celebrity, as a mostly willing punchline, as a cultural nemesis, as a content generator, she's never been bigger or better—this week alone, she's made cat noises, continued stalking her own fans on social media, preened courtside (… » 10/31/14 12:35am Yesterday 12:35am

The Rad '90s Western Tombstone Is Val Kilmer's Finest Hour

Since I started writing this column, I've been wondering what to do with westerns. They aren't quite action movies, but they're action-adjacent. It feels a bit ridiculous to discuss Once Upon a Time in the West in the same space I'm using for stuff like Dredd and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning. Gunfights are… » 10/30/14 2:06pm Thursday 2:06pm

Here's T-Pain Singing His Ass Off Without Auto-Tune

T-Pain was and is entertaining—and T-Pain was and is important—not just because he built a career a decade ago by making fun, light songs about drinking and/or having sex with women, but because of how he did it. He utilized and popularized Auto-Tune, and in doing so transformed both rap and R&B, paving the way for… » 10/29/14 6:25pm Wednesday 6:25pm

Stella Artois Is A Disgrace To Belgium

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a big, trashy, sensationalist, and 100-percent accurate post titled "There Is No Excuse For Drinking Heineken," in which I argued that there are literally thousands of better-tasting ways to communicate to the world that you have a dollar more than the price of a Budweiser. I thought that… » 10/29/14 2:47pm Wednesday 2:47pm

Superheroes, Ranked

Earlier today, after Marvel announced plans to release about 837 new superhero movies over the next few years, heated debate broke out among Deadspin staffers over such questions as whether or not it matters that Batman is a crypto-fascist, whether anyone in the entire world will be rooting for Superman in the… » 10/28/14 5:59pm Tuesday 5:59pm

Evil Twin Hipster Ale Is Cool, Just Like You

Evil Twin is an interesting operation. In the unlikely event you have any free New York Times articles left on the 28th of a pretty newsy month, you can learn nearly everything I know about that operation here. A quick summary: It's a contract-brewing company run out of Brooklyn by a Danish guy who doesn't get along… » 10/28/14 3:01pm Tuesday 3:01pm

You'll See This Car Crash Coming And It's Still Intense As Hell

The video is cued for about 30 seconds of buildup, but you might want to watch the whole thing to properly let the tension build. It's two men filming the car in front of them as the driver drifts and swerves. The video ends exactly how you expect it to—which doesn't mean you won't shit your dick when it happens. » 10/24/14 5:12pm 10/24/14 5:12pm

And Now, Your Most Horrifying Stories Of Being Caught Masturbating

I'm gonna tell the Price Is Right story now, because I don't think I've ever told it in full, so here goes (deep breath): I had just transferred to a new college, and my roommate was a year ahead of me. Football player. Perfectly nice dude. We weren't buddy buddies, but we managed to co-exist amiably. Anyway, the… » 10/24/14 4:20pm 10/24/14 4:20pm