Get a load of these dipsticks.

Your high school or college history instructor probably spent some time on the fall of the Roman Empire. If you remember anything from those hazy days, it was probably something to the effect that the barbarians toppled a declining empire like a particularly destructive toddler going after her Leaning Tower of…

Choo choo, follow the leader.

Many pop songs have guitars in them. Ditto drums and piano and synthesizers. Fine! That’s fine. I am not here to take your guitars and drums and pianos and synthesizers away. I am just here to say, more pop songs should have horns in them.

Riz Ahmed, best known for playing a college student named Nasir Khan in the The Night Of and Jake Gyllenhaal’s tragic peon in Nightcrawler, has rapped for over a decade under the name Riz MC. Did you know that? Neither did our staff.

If you were ever forced to sit through a high school or college history class, you probably heard the story of the fall of the Roman Empire. At best, you remember that savage, fur-clad barbarians poured through the gates of a rotting, decrepit empire and snuffed out the light of civilization for a thousand years,…

Lake Tahoe is a very popular destination for humans looking to catch some summer rays and splash about without care. It will remain such a destination, so long as future visitors are willing to share the beach with these bears:

I consider my life to consist of two parts: one before I saw Suicide Squad, the other after.

The wise and proud residents of Cedar Street in Philadelphia, Penn. recently threw themselves a block party. Understanding that the party would be greatly improved by the presence of a swimming pool, they participated in the great American tradition of doing whatever the hell you want. Which is to say, they turned a…

Last month, I made a public challenge to Donald Trump, which I will repeat here: If he or either of his sons will box me for one round, I will make the maximum legal contribution to his campaign and donate $100,000 to the charity of his choice.

Donald Trump is Max Bialystock. Let me explain.

We’ve been reminiscing about the funny pages, which provoked the single most blisteringly, violently hot take in the history of our blog site: Andy Capp is superior to Calvin and Hobbes, according to one staffer. Most of the staff ratings were sane and good, however, so we’ve averaged them for your reading pleasure.…

Some clowns might look at this big bear, much in need of a refreshing dip, and conclude that he is too big to be going around jamming himself into kiddie pools.

Sure, history says this is what was expected. The Democrats have given us Joe Biden, better known for his flubs than his actual oratory execution; Al Gore, whose “look at how hard I am acting like I am hot for my wife” kiss is impossible to forget; and Walter Mondale, whose face I cannot picture at all even as I know…

Every bear knows that the greatest threat its dignity is a container of food big enough to fit over a hungry bear’s head. And so any bear that wants to avoid being labeled as a big idiot dumbass has to follow just one simple rule: don’t stick your big bear head in large food containers.

Things got weird tonight at the Republican National Convention. Erstwhile Donald Trump enemy Ted Cruz took the stage, and boy did he have a lot to say.

A beautiful dark boar emerged from sea foam and barreled onto the beach, in a vision out of Greek myth.

How?

Any dipshit bear can barge into an alleyway, knock a trash can over, rip open a bag, and pick a few scraps out of the resulting mess. Any asshole can splash paint on a canvas and call it high art, too.

So, here’s the single best discussion happening right now: